In the Cold of the Night
by IndieDaughter
Summary: Ever wondered what happened between Tonks and Lupin during HBP? How can love hurt so much and yet still be gentle and moving? Read and find out. Its my first story so PLEASE REVIEW.
1. Love's Lament

In the Cold of the Night

The cold air whispered softly against the bitter silence of the night. It was times like these that made Tonks feel further apart from her old self then ever before. She had spent the weekend at the Burrow, trying to rest from a hard weeks work at the ministry and had finally managed to escape Molly's sympathetic gaze, the one that brought every thought and feeling for Remus flooding back into her already overwrought heart. She sat in the Weasley's garden where the first formation of frost was settling onto the lawn.

The sound of shuffling feet walking across the grass brought Tonks out of her miserable reverie. She recognised the tread and the broad silhouette flickering from the waning moonlight drowned any fears she may have had.

'Remus,' she whispered softly, her voice catching in her throat. It had been months since she had last seen him, since he had told her he would be spending his time with the werewolf colony. She could feel his warmth as he sat down beside her. The gap between them was evident, like an invisible barrier barring their thoughts and actions. Neither moved any closer… yet neither moved away.

'Molly told me you were out here. It's too cold a night to be sat alone and in the dark.' Remus said quietly, his familiar voice breaking the painful atmosphere.

Embittered thoughts swam into Tonk's mind. _It's his fault that I'm alone. _But as soon as she gazed into his eyes her heart melted and tears slid down her cheeks. He stretched out his arms and she fell into them softly like they had never been apart.

'Nymphadora, you have to listen to me.'

_No._ The tone of his voice felt like a blade in her heart. _He was going to do it again._

'No. Not again. Remus please…'

He turned his eyes away, not bearing to look at her. She clung to his robe, fear welling up inside her.

'Nymphadora, you have to hear me out.'

'Don't call me that…' She lifted her head forcing him to look at her.

'Tonks…' He said softly, taking her hand in his. The warmth that seeped into her from this simple physical action left her shaking with emotion. 'I have to go. You know how important this is. I have to try and get the ferals on our side. I can't let you get caught up in this not when I have seen things that no living being should have to see. You have to forget me.'

She opened her mouth to protest but he put a finger to her lips and softly quietened her.

'I know you are strong but I could never forgive myself if anything happened to you because of my kind-'

'They're not your kind! You're a wonderful man and I love you. I am not afraid. You forget that I am an auror and I have seen things that would fit in with peoples' worst nightmares. You can't do this on your own. Think of all the people we have lost; Hestia, Emmeline and Sirius. We need to be strong and the only way we can do that is by helping one another. I need you Remus and I'll be damned if you don't need me.'

He let go of her hand and turned away. 'I'm sorry Tonks. You deserve better. You should have a man who can give you so much more then I ever will. I can't just let you give your life up to me when you have so much more to live for. The war has taken so much from us already, you should take every moment of happiness you can find and run with it. Don't look back for me.'

'But every moment of happiness that I want to spend is with you!' Tonks cried, exasperated. 'Surely you know that I love you!'

His eyes were locked firmly to the ground. 'I… I shouldn't be here. The colony will know that I have gone. Please don't make this harder then it already is. You deserve so much more then me. Goodnight Tonks.'

Her sobs drowned the sound of his disapperation as all the pain she had felt over the last few months welled up inside her. Hours she sat there, until slowly the first rays of sunlight stole upon the horizon and with her tears spent she walked into the kitchen of the Burrow.


	2. Feral Hunger

The evening had not gone to plan. Remus had wished to bring comfort, solace and above all closure. But all he had brought to that poor girl was pain. His reasons for visiting were selfish, wrapped in a hypocritical fashion so that he could feel righteous. He knew that now and his heart ached with remorse.

He had forgotten what love tasted like; the blind passion, the fresh hope that a smile could give, the way that love seemed guarded against ones faults. And yet to him it had brought renewed fears. The Ferals had weakened his resolve. He had promised himself to stay away so that Tonks could have time to move on.

Any hopes of Tonks being happy were now lost, as if they had fallen into the path of the night breeze drifting far from his reach. _Fool. _He chastised himself softly. He should have waited until he had his own thoughts clear and lucid in his mind before he preached to her. And now she would hate him. He loved her and yet the age old fear of loss was still warped in his psyche.

'Oh so you have finally shown up then.' The voice was course and cruel. And the man it belonged to was every bit as malevolent as his tone suggested.

'Good Evening, Fenir.' Remus tried to keep his voice pleasant but the embittered resentment could be felt strongly beneath his polite exterior.

'You are not welcome here, but while you abuse our… hospitality, you shall refrain from your wizarding elocution. It does not cut a line here as you well know.' Fenir sneered.

The air surrounding Remus began to cool and tension reared its ugly head. The clearing of trees that he had claimed as his refuge suddenly seemed less welcoming and he prepared himself for a fight.

Fenir's head lunged closer as he whispered with unspoken malice. 'I know what you are… Dumbledore's filthy spy. You're a traitor to your kind! Running off to the society you crave. But they do not want you and neither do we.'

Remus did not rise to the bait. Fenir wanted a fight but he would not succumb. He unclenched his fists and tried to remain calm.

'You think I don't know your secret. Could it be possible some wrench has took you in? Does she _love_ you?'

The mocking tone pieced his heart. _How could he know?_

'I bet you have tried to keep her safe. Away from the likes of us. But you know Remus, we will find her and when we do… there shall be a feast!'

Anger rose inside him as he lunged at Fenir. Every vented emotion the last few months had brought to him emerged as fury. Sirius's death, fear for his friends, his love for Tonks- waves of turbulent thought echoed only in his fist as he hit the werewolf that lay before him.

Fenir howled in fury. Snarling like the beast that lay deep inside him- he tore at Remus' flesh. This was a fight that could only lead to the death of the other.

A crowd of Ferals had appeared to watch what had now become an event. They looked on with perverted interest as flesh was ripped from its place and blood was spilt.

'There is only one way you can save yourself now. Show yourself as a wizard and be cast out!' Fenir snarled mid lunge. 'If you're dead, how can you save her?'

The words flooded his mind. He was trapped. If he fought then chances would have it that he would be dead and Fenir would carry on in his bloody rampage of murder. But to save himself with magic would mean the little loyalty he had salvaged in the group would be lost.

'It's your choice. I will find her and the blood that will be spilled from her flesh will be used to feed many. You have my word on that.'

The imagery that had haunted his dreams for so long gave way to any other rationally thought. He took out his wand and disapperated.


	3. The Aftermath

Remus collapsed into his small flat, blood rushing from his open wounds. He felt faint and sick to the very core of his body. He had always scorned physical fighting. The unnecessary use of fists to hurt another being repulsed him and yet there he was, lying on the cold bare floor, draped in pain and agony. But there was only one thing in his mind. A fear so profound it stopped him from falling into the dark abyss of the unconscious. _I must reach Tonks._

That terrifying vision of her lying dead while Fenir tore into her body stole into his mind with such a firm grip that he lunged at the owl that lay asleep on its perch. The owl awoke with a hoot of indignation. Remus dragged himself to the small wooden desk that lay in the corner of the room. Using a spare scrap of parchment and the nearest quill to hand he scribbled a letter, attached it roughly to the owl and slipped into a deep and dangerous sleep.

As Tonks walked into the kitchen, Molly swooped on her.

'I thought you were in bed. Oh my dear you're so cold! Please tell me you didn't spend all night outside?'

Tonks feebly sat at the table tracing her fingers along the carvings that the Weasley children must have imprinted in the years gone by. Molly knelt beside her with a look of great concern.

'What did Remus say to you last night?'

'Oh, only that I should move on, forget him… take as much happiness as I can. That he's not worthy. Nothing that he hasn't said before.' Angry, bitter tears threatened to escape but she bit her lip and remained strong.

'Tonks I'm so sorry' Molly whispered as she hugged her in an embrace that mirrored a mothers. 'I'm sure it will come right in the end.'

They were interrupted by the arrival of a scrawny brown owl carrying a letter. Molly reached over and checked the address.

'It's for you my dear.'

Tonks hungrily reached for the parchment and read:

_Tonks,_

_Greyback is coming! Save yourself. Forget about me. It's too late._

_RL_

Her hands shook as she read the small content of the letter once more. 'Molly. It's Remus. Something's happened and I need to go. Thanks for everything. I'll contact you if I have any news.'

'But…'

Molly was left alone in the kitchen as Tonks fled out of the Burrow, leaving only a fearful tension in her wake.

'Remus!' Tonks cried as she entered the shabby flat. The figure of a wounded man contrasted fiercely against the bare walls. She new that figure well. And as she ran to his side the flood of fond memories broke free and the fear of his death overwhelmed her.

_Please wake up. Please. I can't do this withought you!_

She shook him firmly and gasped with delight as his eyes fluttered open. His hands brushed past her cheek tenderly as he adjusted to his surroundings.

'Tonks,' He whispered softly. A quick flash of panic swept across his scarred features as if he had awoken fully and remembered something horrific. 'You shouldn't be here! He'll find you!'

'Hush, everything is alright.' She tried to soothe him.

'No! Fenir Greyback. He will find and kill you. Please, you have to understand. He knows too much already. It's only a matter of time before he discovers your whereabouts!' Remus stood up with such a force that it took a few breaths before the dizzy spell past.

'It's fine. He won't find me. I'm an auror remember. I'm used to enemies trying to track me down. Nothing will happen to me. There are more important things to worry about. Like what in Merlin's name happened to you?'

'I…there was a fight. Fenir… I…'

'You fought him didn't you?' Tonks incredulous tone pierced the room.

'I was angry and well…he wanted me to use magic in front of the other Ferals. They certainly won't trust me now.' Remus sighed bitterly. 'I disapperated from the fight. All those months and for what? I have been so foolish!'

'There was nothing you could have done. Greyback has such a strong hold on the colony that no amount of reasoning would have helped. You should have been sent out of there months ago.' Bitterness enveloped her as she spoke.

Remus looked at her closely, noting her mousy hair and pale skin. He missed the extravagant Tonks with her bright pink hair and outgoing personality. It was with a rush of guilt that he realised that it was because of him this transformation had occurred. He cupped her face in his hands, ignoring the throbbing pain his wounds were causing him.

'I'm so sorry.'

'Don't be. I'm not.'

He stroked her soft hair as she leaned in; her breath was like a whisper across his skin. The kiss was gentle yet it burst with unrestricted emotion. The embrace lasted barely a second and yet for both it seemed like an eternity. An eternity of bittersweet moments and long forgotten pledges. Yet for both, that second held peace. And in the time of war it was moments like these that they would both cherish. Bu in war no loving moment will ever last…

**My apologies for the previous chapters being fairly short. This was meant to be a one shot on Tonk's emotions but it has seemingly evolved. Thanks to anybody who has read so far and please take time to review!**


	4. Vengeance

A cold breeze rushed into the room sending shivers down their spines. Tonks lowered the bloody body of her lover onto the tatty sofa and walked to the window. As she closed the fastening on the latch, a movement on the ground caught her eye.

'Tonks. What is it?' Remus said in his unusually husky tone.

'There's something outside.' She replied watching the scene below. They were only three floors up and yet she couldn't make out the dark shape that had rushed into the low undergrowth outside the entrance. The small roar of car engines from the street drowned any noise that might have identified the subject. If it were not for her auror training and the 'constant vigilance' that Mad-Eye Moody had drummed into her like a mantra, she may never have noticed.

'Get away from the window.' Remus instructed quickly. He winced as he got up from the sofa.

Turning around, she noticed his pain and rushed toward him. 'It's fine. Probably just a stray cat. Lie down so I can help you. I'm no healer but my Mum taught me a thing or two when it came to healing the injuries caused by my own clumsiness.'

Panic began to rise in Remus as he looked up into the kind, untroubled face of the young woman he adored. 'Tonks it could be dangerous. You need to get out of here.'

'If there is danger then there is all the more reason for me to stay. You can't defend yourself in this state. Stay here and I'll go and check it out.'

'No don't. Tonks please!'

'I'll be fine.'

She strode out of the room confidently and closed the door behind her. She bit her lip as she took her wand out. Locking him in seemed cruel but she knew he would only go after her if she didn't. He could always unlock it if there was an emergency. Or so she hoped.

Adrenaline kicked into her system. It was moments like these that made her remember why she loved her job. The suspense that lay in not knowing her enemy always gave her a thrill and it was the time when the only thing that lay between life and death was her instinct that brought out her own array of skill. She took a deep breath, happy to feel alive for even just a fleeting second.

As quietly as she could, Tonks descended the flight of stairs between the flat and the ground, passing the sign stating she had reached the final floor.

Crash!

The sound of shattered glass stopped her movements dead. Someone had broken into the buildingShe crouched down and concentrated on keeping her breath steady, quiet and as low as possible. Silently, she took out her wand and lay still- ready to strike.

A bulky figure with long matted, grey hair stalked across the entrance hall, not caring about the long shards of glass under his feet. He had a harsh wolf-like appearance; dirty whiskers pierced his face and blood dripped from the exposed canines of his snarl. That could only be Fenir Greyback.

'Come out sweet heart. You know I _will_ find you. I'll be able to... sniff you out.' He turned in her direction with a wicked grin on his face. She jumped out of his way as he lunged for her and she sent a jinx ricocheting off the wall. As she steadied herself, preparing for another attack, he swept him thick arm against her knocking the wand out of her hand.

'Oh dear!' He mocked, with those accursed, bloodshot eyes darting in Tonk's direction. 'Now what are you going to do?'

Tonks weighed up her options even though she knew she was trapped. Her wand was out of reach and he would outrun her to the stairs if she tried to dart in that direction. Lesser witches would have frozen in fear, but Tonks held her ground willing herself to remember all that she had learnt in auror training. Unfortunately, every teaching she had ever come across stated how _not_ to get into a situation like this.

'What do you want from me?'

Stalling tactics: Try to engage the enemy in conversation. _Stupid Ministry teachings! What good was conversation? _The sudden image of Mad-Eye Moody shaking his head at her foolishness disrupted her thoughts.

'I want to tear your flesh away from your bones and feed my colony with the blood spilt!' A maddened glint shined in his eyes as he took a step closer.

_Not asking for much then!_

'Why have you come here?' Tonks asked, urging panic out of her voice.

'I have been told by a trusted source that dear old Lupin has found himself a nice little auror witch to keep him company. He's been meddling in my affairs so its time to teach him a lesson!'

_How does he know? _

'What source? How has this got anything to do with me?'

'I'm not stupid. Lupin is the only magical resident for miles around. Only his wretched _girlfriend_ would be wasting her time around here.'

_Damn. _

'I'm afraid your time is up. My sincerest apology for breaking up what I'm sure was a budding romance,' He sneered. 'However I am going to end this now. Nighty Night…'

_Oh holy mother of Merlin! Not now! I can't die now. _

Fenir lunged at Tonks, knocking her to the ground where the shards of glass lay scattered across the cold, stone floor. She felt a strong pain at the back of her head and before the wave of pain hit her, she was sure she witnessed a flash of green light whipping past her line of vision. A yelp was heard but to who it came from she was no longer certain. Her head felt like it was about to implode and her vision was easing in and out of focus.

'Tonks!'

That cry was so familiar. Familiar and warm. It reminded her of hot chocolate on a cold winter morning, a light in the enveloping darkness and a stranger's smile that brightens your heart whenever you feel alone. It was a blessing that brought about a gathering of emotion that had been lost in the last minutes of what she though would be her life. Hope had filled her soul and strength was slowly returning her body.

'Tonks! It's alright I'm here hold on.' Remus said as he crouched by her side.

'Remus, Fenir was here…' Tonks whispered, trying hard not to cry with relief.

'I know. I stunned him as he attacked you. I would have come sooner but you locked the door and I'm still in a fair amount of pain myself.'

Tonks looked at him in horror, remembering her actions. 'Oh, I'm so sorry…'

His eyes were twinkling with good humour as he gently helped her up.

'What a pair we are; both becoming invalids in the space of a day. We must have broken a record for the amount of trouble one can fall into.' Remus said as he smiled at her.

_Oh how I have missed that smile! _The dry humour that had once come so lavishly from him, vanished after Sirius's death.The same smile that brightened his features and made him look younger had disappeared for so long she had feared it may never return.

They stared at each other for a long moment until Tonks gave a sharp cry. A deep throbbing pain had started in the back of her head. She remembered hitting it as she fell to the floor.

'I think I should go to a Healer.'

'I'll come with you.'

'But what about Greyback? The stunning spell won't last long.'

'I'm more concerned about you at this moment in time. We will deal with him later.'

Tonks hesitated, but before she could reply a wave of dizziness and fatigue swept over her. Remus held her gently and they disappeared, just as the previously immobile form of Fenir Greyback arose and skulked back into the sunlight, preparing himself for the next battle.

**Thankyou for reading so far and please review!**


	5. Interlude with Wine

**My apologies 4 the late update. I have finally conquered my on going war with writer's block and am hoping to update again during the spring break, but I cannot promise anything!**

**Disclaimer: (Yup, I know I've forgotten this thing in the past but here goes) J.K.** **Rowling owns all the characters except my own OC. **

**By the way the OC is a muggle but is meant to be the niece of Ted Tonks.**

A week had passed since the battle with Greyback. Remus had left Tonks in her parent's care, while she was living at their London home. All had been quiet; Remus had been sent on an Order mission and her work scheduled around protecting Harry so there had been little time for discussion of the previous week's events.

She sighed as she sank into her father's leather armchair, her mind pondering over Greyback's words. _Who was the informer who knew about their relationship? _The dozens of possibilities formed in her mind but she tried to shake them off. It was the one day of the week where she did not have work, either as an auror or for the Order and she did not want to ruin her day of relaxation with anxiety.

Tonks glanced at her watch, noting the time. Her cousin was soon to arrive for their bi-monthly visit and she would be glad for the outside view on recent events. As much as she loved Molly, her mollycoddling could be infuriating and she needed a friend's advice. Tonks had always enjoyed Sarah's company and she was the only distant family she had entrusted with the knowledge of the magical world.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang and she smiled. She had forgotten her Father was so fond of the muggle contraption. With a flick of her wand, the door opened and there stood her cousin, laughing and holding a bottle of wine.

'God Tonks you look awful!' Sarah said cheerfully as she entered the house.

'Cheers, Sarah. Glad you noticed.' Tonks dryly replied, remembering her cousin was not renowned for her tact.

'Don't worry about it. Hey, why don't you sit down and I'll open the wine?'

Before she had time to reply, Sarah had rushed off to the kitchen leaving Tonks bemused in the hall. She admired her cousin's brisk cheerfulness, something she had seemed to have lost over the last few months. For a second she longed to be a muggle, happy and carefree- not knowing the true extent of the danger they were all facing. But it would not do to have such thoughts, not with despair already so close to hand. She walked into the lounge and settled back onto the comfortable armchair.

Sarah walked into the room with a puzzled expression. 'Where do you keep your bottle opener?'

Tonks smiled as she flicked her wand and the cork popped out, landing on the floor.

'I forgot you could do that!' laughed Sarah, as she sat on the settee and poured the wine into two glasses. She passed a glass to Tonks. 'Here, this will make you feel better.'

Tonks was used to stronger beverages at The Leaky Cauldron but she was glad of the company that the drink had brought. 'I doubt a drink can make it all better.'

Sarah looked at her with concern. 'That bad huh?'

'You have no idea.'

'Well I'm here to help. I know I don't have a clue about magic but I know you. There are only three things that could make you so depressed. Either your favourite band has split up, your Mum has raided your wardrobe or a man is messing with your heart. I take from the Weird Sisters top that you are wearing it is neither of the first two which leads me to the conclusion that a man is messing with your heart. Fess up sister!'

Tonks mused over her cousin's logic. There were many other things that could make her feel so sad. _Take a magical war, the death of a cousin and a werewolf attack for instance. _But Sarah was right. There was a man who had brought her sadness.

'I love him Sarah, but it's just so complicated…'

'When isn't it? I know your busy saving the world and everything, but isn't love a force in fighting evil? Oh, I'm starting to sound like a really corny love song aren't I?'

Tonks smiled bitterly. 'It isn't me you have to convince.'

Suddenly, a flickering of silver erupted out of the fireplace spraying ashes across the hearth rug.

'What the-' Sarah gasped.

Tonks recognised the shape of the patronus as a phoenix and she listened intently at the message it relayed.

'I'm sorry Sarah. I have to go. Dumbledore needs all the Order at Hogwarts.' Tonks said in a rush to pull her robes over her top and jeans. 'My parents will be back soon and I'm sure they'll love to see you. See you soon.'

And with that Tonks disappeared, leaving Sarah open mouthed and in need of a stiff drink.

**Sorry it's so short this was meant to be a bridge for the action to come. Much love to all who read and review!**


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